you forgot your semi-colons

Today kids, we learn about arbitrary code execution and sanitizing your inputs.

i bet he just did the "Hello world" thing

Hackerman

sir_dankalot said:
i bet he just did the "Hello world" thing

Actually he made an infinite recursion. So when the program runs the code and reaches the bottom, it will restart.

tposeexists said:
Hackerman

He’s the most powerful hacker of all time.

nsfw_alt_acc said:
you forgot your semi-colons

But it's BASIC...

This joke is terrible...

berryfrost said:
Today kids, we learn about arbitrary code execution and sanitizing your inputs.

Relevant xkcd comic https://xkcd.com/327/

truly a hacker man, even got that sweet custom skin for his super hero squad laptop 🧐👌

Let's analyze this, shall we?

The artist seems to be treating

CUMMING

as a state variable, which is actually problematic here. He's not cumming when the program runs. It immediately sets the state to true, so that he is. Then, if the state is still true (which it always will be because it was just set that way) it loops.

The question is, under normal operation, when would that state be reset to false? Is there a timed callback at the end of a load that sets it back to false? If so one of those is eventually going to break the loop.

But if there's no automatic falsity reset you don't need the loop at all, setting it to true would just leave it true until changed somehow. A more resilient loop, ing for any autonomous behavior around falsing the state, would be

10 IF CUMMING == FALSE THEN
20 SET CUMMING = TRUE
30 GOTO 10

(If you're going to ignore 54 years of "GOTO Considered Harmful" wisdom, then IMO go all the way and use line numbers instead of named jump points!)

However, I'm assuming a high tech cyberderg like this s cronjobs and can run Python. If so, we can have some seriously devious fun, rather than just abusing state for immediate sexytimes. Try this out:

import os
import random
import time

def cum_for_n_seconds(n):
  for x in range(n):
    # assuming this is actually an env var
    # if not, substitute the actual orgasm subsystem API call here
    os.environ["CUMMING"] = True
    time.sleep(1)

if __name__ == "__main__":
  roll_for_cumshot = random.randrange(10)
  duration = random.randint(60, 300)
  if roll_for_cumshot = 6:
    cum_for_n_seconds(duration)

Put this in his cron scheduler set to run every minute. Every minute, he now has a 1 in 10 chance of cumming for between 1 and 5 minutes... and if it's a long one, and another chance hits while he's still cumming, that would stack and extend the time ;)

You could get almost limitlessly evil with this. Adjust the time settings to your liking, or change the for loop in the timer to use a counter and give every tick a chance to reset the counter to 0, resetting the remaining cum duration to full, or randomize the overall execution timer, or use a version of this that forces cumming to false and then tease the hell out of him... the possibilities are endless!

This code should be pretty reliable as written, but if you use it in a production cyberderg, please report back with results :P

The stack overflow joke is absolutely choice, by the way.

A full exploration of the other possibilities of having a sexual partner whose autonomic processes you can script against is left as an exercise to the reader, but consider among others:

1) remote control, potentially over the net

2) crosswiring parts of his sex drive with other body subsystems, for example:
2a) triggering arousal or orgasm when unusual body parts are interacted with ("you now cream yourself when someone high fives you" or "your left middle finger is now a g-spot, have fun typing")
2b) triggering sexual processes on the perception of defined objects/words/etc (this amounts to extremely flexible hypnosis kink - no reason you couldn't make him aroused by the abstract concept of negative space, or cum whenever anyone says "banana", or whatever, assuming his brain API will let you get at the data)
2c) related, adding requirements to sexual processes, which basically lets you code in any fetish imaginable ("now you can't cum unless there's a rat involved")

3) Who needs bondage when you can disable any combination of muscles and ts entirely?

4) 2a, but you also turn off the original arousal points. ("Touching your dick now does nothing for you, but the sexual effect of your butt has been increased 200%" or "the only way you can feel sexual pleasure is now through your tail")

5) breathplay becomes next level when you can literally shut off your partner's ability to breathe...

wolfox_lykos said:
Relevant xkcd comic https://xkcd.com/327/

there is always a relevant xkcd

berryfrost said:
Today kids, we learn about arbitrary code execution and sanitizing your inputs.

Use a condom to prevent SQL injections.

nsfw_alt_acc said:
you forgot your semi-colons

It's BASIC, it doesn't use semicolons.

unknowntags said:
However, I'm assuming a high tech cyberderg like this s cronjobs and can run Python. If so, we can have some seriously devious fun, rather than just abusing state for immediate sexytimes. Try this out:

import os
import random
import time

def cum_for_n_seconds(n):
  for x in range(n):
    # assuming this is actually an env var
    # if not, substitute the actual orgasm subsystem API call here
    os.environ["CUMMING"] = True
    time.sleep(1)

if __name__ == "__main__":
  roll_for_cumshot = random.randrange(10)
  duration = random.randint(60, 300)
  if roll_for_cumshot = 6:
    cum_for_n_seconds(duration)

Put this in his cron scheduler set to run every minute. Every minute, he now has a 1 in 10 chance of cumming for between 1 and 5 minutes... and if it's a long one, and another chance hits while he's still cumming, that would stack and extend the time ;)

You could get almost limitlessly evil with this. Adjust the time settings to your liking, or change the for loop in the timer to use a counter and give every tick a chance to reset the counter to 0, resetting the remaining cum duration to full, or randomize the overall execution timer, or use a version of this that forces cumming to false and then tease the hell out of him... the possibilities are endless!

This code should be pretty reliable as written, but if you use it in a production cyberderg, please report back with results :P

It'd be idiotic to make cumming a variable for much more than bookkeeping (And it'd be better off defined in some class and made protected or private, and given some sort of accessor function). It'd make more sense if he used a member function called cum(). Now, I don't know python as well as you do, so I'll leave that as an exercise for you, but in C++, the original concept would be as simple as calling it in a loop over and over again, as long as it has an overload containing 0 arguments.

#include "valoros.h"
// chrono and thread are already included in valoros.h

int duration = 100

int main(){
    for (int i = duration; i > 0; i--){
        valor->reproduction.cum();
        std::this_thread::sleep_for(std::chrono::seconds(1));
    };
};

shylokvakarian said:
It's BASIC, it doesn't use semicolons.

It'd be idiotic to make cumming a variable for much more than bookkeeping (And it'd be better off defined in some class and made protected or private, and given some sort of accessor function). It'd make more sense if he used a member function called cum(). Now, I don't know python as well as you do, so I'll leave that as an exercise for you, but in C++, the original concept would be as simple as calling it in a loop over and over again, as long as it has an overload containing 0 arguments.

#include "valoros.h"
// chrono and thread are already included in valoros.h

int duration = 100

int main(){
    for (int i = duration; i > 0; i--){
        valor->reproduction.cum();
        std::this_thread::sleep_for(std::chrono::seconds(1));
    };
};

I don't have a very detailed opinion about this, but having a stored variable that can't be altered from the outside would be valuable, especially if that variable is secretly a method call that just checks if the proot is cumming. If we get into parallel processing, it would be quite valuable for preventing cumming at the same time as doing something that would be impossible given those circumstances.

beepmaster said:
I don't have a very detailed opinion about this, but having a stored variable that can't be altered from the outside would be valuable, especially if that variable is secretly a method call that just checks if the proot is cumming. If we get into parallel processing, it would be quite valuable for preventing cumming at the same time as doing something that would be impossible given those circumstances.

Yeah, theoretically we'd have an accessor function like "valor->reproduction.isCumming()" to access that variable, but calling it wasn't required for this specific implementation.

Took a look at my code again, and saw that one of two issues could arise: Either a. Timers are implemented in such a way that prevents continuing with the for loop until he finishes cumming, thus he would get a 1-second break in between orgasms (unintended behavior), or b. The timers allow for multiple orgasm effects to stack, but may cause issues with flag-setting or processing the multiple orgasms in a timely manner. Fortunately, this can be solved with a cum() function that accepts two arguments, duration and intensity. The following implementation, using duration and intensity, would be a much more elegant solution, and would be more valuable to the operating system as the parameters can vary depending on other factors.

#include "valoros.h"
// chrono and thread are already included in valoros.h

int orgasmDuration = 18000; // duration in seconds
float orgasmIntensity = 20.0; // intensity in units of standard male ejaculatory pressure; 1.0 standard male ejaculatory pressure is about 500.0 centimeters of water, or about 49031.91 pascals; value limited to a maximum of 20.0 for safety

int main(){
    valor->reproduction.cum(orgasmDuration, orgasmIntensity);
};

The code above would cause an orgasm lasting 5 hours with a pressure 20 times greater than that of a standard ejaculation.